Thursday, May 21, 2009

Take time out to giggle

Two cannibals were sitting around the campfire talking. One of the cannibals said, "You know, I just don't like my brother-in-law."To which the other replied, "Then just eat the noodles." - Ed Buckner.

A young mother was standing outside a mall holding her six-month-old baby and her sister's three-month-old baby.Two elderly women approached the mother. "Are they twins?" one asked."No, they're three months apart.""My! You sure had them close together." - Morgan.

Visiting the psych ward, a man asked how doctors decide to institutionalize a patient."Well," the director said, "we fill a bathtub, then offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient, and ask him to empty the tub.""I get it," the visitor said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's the biggest.""No," the director said. "A normal person would pull the plug." - Josh Roberts.

I was a percussion major when I was in college, and during a rehearsal of the student orchestra, my section kept making mistakes."When you're too dumb to play anything," the professor conducting us sneered, "they give you a couple of sticks, put you in the back, and call you a percussionist."A friend next to me whispered, "And if you're too dumb to hang on to both sticks, they take one away, put you in the front, and call you a conductor." - Jim Lopardo.


Ina in Alaska said...

Lovely girls, Sheryl! Congrats to both on their graduations. I tried to get to your blog yesterday but got bounced out for some reason..... Thanks for the smiles and I wish you and your family and doggies a wonderful and safe holiday weekend. You inspired me the other night... I was tempted to eat something "out of limits" and thought of your quest and DID NOT EAT IT!!! In your honor. I need to get rid of 5 lbs before the 3rd week of June.... not hard, but not a lot of weight so I always think I can make up the calories later...... You are now my inspiration to stay the course!!! xoxoxo (PS My word verification today is GODCAR) :)

Juls said...

hee hee..good ones.

Kwana said...

Love the jokes and the girls look beautiful. I'm not guessing.

CynthiaK said...

LOL! I needed that laugh! Thanks!

Anita C. McCants said...

I read this out loud, and my
kids and I had a good laugh.