Monday, May 31, 2010

I didn't give up

You never know what you can do when you stick to it, have faith in yourself and not give up.  

Here in the United States it is a holiday, Memorial Day, a day that commemorates the U.S. soldiers who died while in the military service.  Today -I did something for the first time on a holiday, I got up at 5:30 a.m. to be at my boot camp class at 6:15.  Is that crazy or what?

It has been two weeks now since I've joined this gym.  I am seeing some progress in my endurance and I try to push myself a little further each day.  My sister was visiting for the weekend and went to class with me.  I felt so bad for her, not that she found it hard and I am afraid she could be sore in the morning but because on the way home she broke down.  She said she felt embarrassed being one of the largest ones there and that she couldn't keep up with most of the class.  

I wanted to cry with her, I was feeling that same way just two weeks ago.  Though there hasn't been a noticeable transformation on the outside, there has been a transformation on the inside.  I still go to the gym each day with my heels dug into the ground while both daughters drag me along.    But each day I go the level of fear drops a little bit more.  

I no longer feel like the fat one standing out.  Most of the time when they show us the drill for the class I think they are out of the ever loving mind.  I mean really, where do they find these people - they really think I can do THAT.  But as the music begins I start the warm up with everyone else (which is about the only time I can keep up right now) and then proceed to the work out at a level that challenge my physical ability.  


I am learning to humble myself during these classes.  I am usually one of the last (if not the last) one to finish the outside running exercises (and getting lapped my Big K no less) but that's OK, I am doing my best and the instructors are great.  They never start the next drill until everyone has caught up and I never feel like the rest of the class is holding it against me, everyone is very supportive.  


Today I actually finished running a five cone suicide and then we had to go from that right into a run up a hill and back.  My shins were not happy about the progress I was making and decided to rebel against me.  They tightened up so bad that I could hardly flex my foot.  Once I got back into the building I walked over to get a drink and feel against the mirrored wall.  I had tears coming down my face and spilled my water all over me (and I didn't care) thank goodness I was in the back.  


But here's the thing....I didn't give up.  I wasn't able to do everything the rest of the class was doing after that point but I kept myself moving and I am so proud of myself for that.  I haven't felt proud of myself for a long time.  

Maybe, just maybe, I learn to love myself again.

Hope you had a great weekend.

Sheryl 

14 comments:

jennyannfraser said...

Fantastic!
You should be so proud of yourself for not giving up. What amazing courage and strength you have. So many would find this unbearable but you are sticking with it and focusing on your accomplishments.
You can love yourself. Love yourself for where you are now and everything that you are trying to accomplish. Life is all about the journey, not the destination.
Just remember all you have achieved in just two short weeks and remind yourself of this when you feel like throwing in the towel.
My heart is with you!

Nykkie said...

Hello there!! I am new to your blog!! I just wanted to say...CONGRATS!!!! I am very proud of you!!! it WILL get Easier!!! Keep up the Great work!!!
Looking forward to watching your progress!! ;-)
@FitInMyHeart A.K.A. Dr. Mo

Traci said...

What a great blog you have. I love this post. Don't ever give up. That endurance you are feeling will only get better. It sounds like you are getting stronger too. Good job! Way to keep up with it. Your workout sounds grueling. Sounds like something I would love to try just to change it up a little. Be very proud of yourself.

Natalia said...

Good for you! I think one of the most important things you can do, is compete only against yourself. Meaning, it doesn't matter what everyone else is doing only you. You notice when you go a bit faster or you can do one more rep or lift a little heavier weight.

Good for you not giving up. That alone right there, you should feel so proud of yourself!!!!! :)

Ginger Jasper said...

You did brilliantly and should be proud with a capital P .. You said it YOU DID NOT give up.. Well done.. Carol and GJ xx

Curvy Jones said...

Stopping by from Healthy You. Superfantastic job. Bootcamp intimidates the heck out of me! Go YOU!

Chibi said...

What an awesome post. This really struck a chord with me:
"Though there hasn't been a noticeable transformation on the outside, there has been a transformation on the inside."

Sometimes? Those are the best kind of transformations. :)

Deidra said...

Yay for you! I know lots of people who take that class in different places around town. It's no joke!

DIANE, DENMARK said...

Fantastic, Sheryl! :)

Just think how far you've already come...looking forward to the next chapter of your story! xo

勳谷 said...

安...辛苦了!祝福你在各個方面都愈來愈好!........................................

Bonita said...

Woo Hoo! I love stories like this! You are already more than a conqueror! Keep getting back up and keep going. It inspires me greatly!

prashant said...

Love yourself for where you are now and everything that you are trying to accomplish. Life is all about the journey, not the destination.
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Nishant said...

What a great blog you have. I love this post. Don't ever give up
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