Sunday, April 4, 2010
What a wonderful Easter weekend, I was a little jealous (ok, a lot jealous) when B didn't have to work or Little K didn't have school on Friday and I still had to go to work, but I got over it.
Saturday B, myself, Big and Little K with a friend each went to the Henry Doorly Zoo; I love that zoo. It has been about five years since I was last there and had forgotten how much it's expanded. They have wonderful displays and there is no way you can enjoy the entire zoo in one day. Especially if you're like me, I like to just watch the animals for a while.
I was a little disappointed that some of the animals weren't on display yet but the weather was perfect. We took lots of pictures, had lots of laughs and really enjoyed each other. We were walking up the back stretch (this is not a flat zoo) and God got my attention big time; I could no longer feel my legs, my hips were screaming, the bottom of my feet hurt, and I wasn't even sure I could take a breath. I straggled behind every one not wanting the kids to know how I was feeling. I kept thinking that surely I will reach the top of this hill soon. B was there beside me the entire time encouraging me to take a break but I didn't want to give in and this would have also gotten the attention of the kids. Tears were rolling down the side of my face, I didn't know what was going on with me and just when I thought I was going crumble we were at the top. Fortunately we were getting ready to leave and B offered to get the van and bring it to the entrance since we had to park out in the north 40 but I couldn't let him do that. Deep down inside I knew what was wrong with me and I couldn't have been more embarrassed.
How did I let myself get that far out of shape? For pete sakes I couldn't even walk up the stupid hill, I don't want to know what physical age my body is at right now. I know I need to lose about 80 pounds and I need to move my body more but really – is it that bad? God gave me a huge wakeup call – now what am I going to do with it?
It's not a coincidence that God choose this weekend to get my attention, the weekend of Easter – a starting of new. My life matters to the one who holds the whole universe in his hands. I am just a speck of dust in the big picture but yet God took the time to get my attention about my physical health because he loves me so much.
During the Easter service Pastor Michael talked about the earthquake of the resurrection and that Easter has negated all excuses – no more whining. There is not one shred of darkness that can stand to the earthquake of the resurrection, for me at this point in my life my darkness is my physical condition. Nothing is more powerful then the love of God and he is teaching me that my weight does not define me, however, if I am not taking care of myself how can He use me to further His kingdom. Michael said, "Let there be no more whining, no more excuses not to strive for the kingdom and life to the full – if God is for us who could be against us." This really hit home, it's time for me to get moving.
In Philippians 4:13 it says "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." I need to not only know that verse but I need to live it and believe it with my whole heart.
Earlier in this post I asked, what am I going to do with this wakeup call given by God? I'm going to get up and get moving, the weather is getting nicer and I am going to start with walking every day. I really don't like walking around my neighbor because, well, because it's not flat and I have to work harder - there I said it. Now that I look back at the route I take when I do walk, it's the route I need to start getting me in better shape, I'm seeing it a through different eyes now.
With God's strength I will overcome this darkness and bring it forward to the light. I will not let it hold me back any longer.
What's holding you back?